7 WAYS TO IDENTIFY A BULLY FROM A LEADER
A new book suggests that a very successful CEO, Jeff Bezos of Amazon, used bullying tactics. While that may be in dispute how many bosses take management by objectives to this level? If I had a room of people and I asked the question, "what constitutes an effective leader" I might get as many answers as people in the room. There are many traits that make a successful leader.
I believe that effective leaders and managers do get results working with other people. But there is a difference between a boss and leader. Someone can appoint himself boss because he signs the paycheck or a manager is the boss because he was given that title from above. But just because someone is given a title does not guarantee that he can manage effectively. To be truly effective a manager or leader must make appropriate use of their granted authority and earned power.
This means that appointing yourself or being appointed does not make you effective. You earn the respect for authority from the people you supervise. This does not mean you have to be popular and never make tough decisions. You must do that and move on. One great example of leadership is a quote from Colin Powell, “The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them…” This begs the question; can you bring your problems to a bully? How can you become a results oriented leader without becoming a bully? Here are 7 ways to tell a bully from a true leader.
- A leader leads by example. A bully dominates and intimidates others and says, “do as I say or else.”
- A leader shows interpersonal skills and empathy for others and motivates. A bully lacks empathy for others, ridicules and demotivates others.
- A leader can communicate with all levels and backgrounds and understand their motivations. A bully surrounds himself only with people who acquiesce to him.
- A leader believes in the abilities of his people and knows they will do well. A bully has low expectations of everybody.
- A leader shares information and is transparent. A bully withholds information and uses it as a weapon.
- A leader is assertive when necessary. A bully is aggressive and uses power plays.
- A leader is emotionally mature (high emotional intelligence). A bully is emotionally immature (low emotional intelligence.)
I would like to hear your comments. What do you think about these points? Do you have examples?
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Comments 2
1 - 7 is a must in todays world. They are all workable. It’s a given and a must do.
Looking at it differently. There is to much on psychology and not enough on performance. A leader has principles that are written down and handed to an employee. If they continue to have issues with these principles it becomes a red flag to the team. The team complains about not pulling his load. Personal problems given time can be fixed and should be talked about to touch only the surface. It’s about the team as a unit to complete a goal. Leaders need to give the employees time to evaluate their performance with company principles. Help the under achiever to comply by being accountable. Employees that become part of the family as very good friends for years are given much more time to turn around and may go unnoticed. It may comes a time to be stern and In your face to get the message. Some people need it that way. Everyone is different. We are not all winners. Keep principle simple as possible to have a simple positive out come. What I see it this picture is… Part of the job of a leader is letting them go for the betterment of the team.
It is not as if bullies choose to be bullies, instead of being leaders. Some parents, teachers, CEOs and dog owners believe they are excellent leaders, when in fact they are just bullies and are not respected by those in their power. Parents who subject their children to appalling abuse will tell you that "children like structure and discipline in their lives." I have attended dog clubs where they talk about leadership and "being a good leader" when all they are prescribing is the behaviour of a bully, e.g. you must "show the dog who's boss" and you do this for instance by ignoring the dog and any display of joy when you come home. Joyful puppy play is stopped by rolling the puppy on its side, so that the dog understands that they can only have joy and happiness on your terms and when you allow. They seriously believe they are "good leaders" and there are many CEOs exactly like that. They use all sorts of tactics and displays os dominance and power to show who's boss, instead of just being the sort of person that others can respect and can willingly follow.
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